Top 10 Ways You Know You’re Ready to See Eddie Izzard Live

It’s an exciting week for me. I’m starting the new job tomorrow, and I’m taking off on Friday for a joint Mother’s Day & Father’s Day gift: Driving with my parents to Kansas City to see Eddie Izzard live.

If you know me, you know that I’m an Eddie Izzard fanatic. If you think you are too, then run through the abbreviated checklist below, and see if you’re ready to see him live.

  1. You can answer, “Cake or death?” without a moment’s hesitation.
  2. You administer the Heimlich maneuver with a frying pan (and you feel like a tank commander when you do so).
  3. You order penne al’arrabiata at Italian restaurants to feel a bit like Darth Vader. But you’re disappointed when it doesn’t come with peas.
  4. You can’t saw a plank of wood in half without thinking that you’re punching a baboon.
  5. You’ve asked, “Do you have a flag?” at least 10 times in casual conversation.
  6. You pronounce herbs with an audible “h,” because there’s a f*cking h in it.
  7. You secretly laugh whenever you meet someone named Jeff, and wonder if his last name is Jefftyjeff.
  8. You appreciate that Eddie took the time to close the window after throwing the cat out.
  9. When the June 26 New York Times says, “On this day in history, Kennedy gave his ‘Ich bin ein Berliner’ / ‘I am a Berliner’ speech,” you know what he really said.
  10. You know the true role of rabbits and chocolate eggs in Easter.

These are just the first 10 that came to mind. What’s your favorite?

Be Sociable, Share!

What do you think?