So I’m walking home from school today, and I see this lady driving in her car, leaning out the window, flailing her arms madly and honking her horn. What was she doing, you might ask? Let me give you a hint, from the Guide to Living in Pittsburgh:
Do what others would do if they had a close personal relationship with you. [For example,] Honk to say “Hi” to the friend you see walking along the sidewalk. No one will mind, since he is their friend as well.
Indeed. This lady was trying desperately to get the person driving the car in front of her to realize - get this - that someone he knew, and who possibly lived in his neighborhood, was driving behind him. What are the odds!!! I’ll give you a moment to collect yourselves off the floor from laughing so hard.
Here’s the lesson, folks. As crazy as it is that you see someone you know while driving, I promise that the person on the other end does not think it’s quite so funny. Especially if you are honking at a pedestrian. Nine out of ten times someone honks at me, I can’t see into the car because of the glare on the windshield. My reaction? Jump and run out of the way! On what planet is it a good idea to go up to a car that honks at you and check to see if its someone you know? If they really are pissed at you, they will run you over!
If you really need to indicate that you saw someone while you were driving, I have two remedies to consider:
- Call them (at the next red light, please) and tell them you saw them.
- Tell them to their face next time you bump into them.
This spares your friends the heart attack you are giving them by driving up to them and leaning on your horn. It also saves me, the lowly pedestrian, from freaking out every time a car drives by honking its horn to say “Hi”.
This breakdown is dedicated to the mad flailing woman who inspired it, as well as the other lady I saw honk at a pedestrian while I was walking home. Two in one night? Crazy Pittsburghers…
